¿Las discusiones y conflictos continuos con tu pareja han llegado hasta el punto en que todo es sinónimo peleas, enfrentamientos y acusaciones? Cualquiera que estuviera en esas circunstancias y nos pidiera consejo le diríamos: “sal de eso, no te acostumbres a la negatividad de una relación, tu relación ya está muy deteriorada…”.

Es verdad que estar en un círculo vicioso y continuo de discusiones es para replantearse la relación existente. No obstante, lo solemos ver con ojos de mal rollo e intentamos huir o cerrar esa relación porque tiene la pinta de ser eso que llaman: ¡tóxica!

El mensaje que este post quiero darte es distinto, quiero que cambies tu manera de entender esas discusiones: Hasta un punto que tampoco haya una explosión diaria, en PNL (Programación Neuro Lingüística) los malentendidos entre ambos no son ni más ni menos que contraseñas de uno y de otro que no estamos entendiendo y comprendiendo.  Si lo observamos con una nueva mirada, expresarse abiertamente es parte de una relación de pareja sana. Dicho de otra manera: Si no discutes, uy, uy, uy, uy… algo no va bien. Otra cosa es que para entender lo que subyace de esas discusiones estés siempre a la defensiva o por el contrario estés en una constante lucha de poderes, para ver quién gana o quién pierde, quién tiene la razón o quién deja de tenerla, quién es víctima o verdugo, quién reprocha que no hace nada por ella y quién replica con lo mismo.

Fíjate que sorpresa te voy a dar: Discute. Sí, has leído bien. Pero con respeto, esto es, dentro del mismo plano de igualdad. Ni tú eres más ni eres menos que tu pareja.

Si tienes mucha tensión por el conflicto creado, mantén la distancia e incluso desconecta, expresando que prefieres esperar a hablar cuando estés más calmado. Cuando ya estés preparado, escucha y recibe los comentarios con admiración. Y cuando hables, no te autojustifiques, sé responsable de tus actos. Y finalmente, dale a tu pareja tu mejor versión, dándole todo el infinito amor que hay en ti.

Sigue el debate comentando esta emoción

Deja un comentario

 
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